Letter to the Editor:
Shame on the Gazette!
With the close of the war and the rise of the many blessings of industry that multiply under Her Majesty's care, the world lays out a multitude of guises for the working wife, or even the unmarriageable lady, under which to better herself and others.
She may be employed in one of our countless factories, making everything from horseless carriages to airships to sky palaces, for which many able bodied folk are needed, and in which endeavour those of character are most favored.
She may seek a higher purpose with the Angels - not God's cherubim, not yet, sweet things, but with Her Majesty's Angel Corps. I joined up to make a difference in the war, and while the conflict is won, the mission of the A-C continues to be vital to the safety of Britain. Where else can a girl dedicate herself to learning the aeronautic arts, to piloting Her Majesty's finest battle dirigibles? A position of such honor should be the aspiration of every girl.
Yes, our modern age affords the young woman a brighter future than she has ever seen before. But there is one profession to which I cannot lend my recommendation, and seeing it advertised here in the Gazette does shame to the publication. That's the job of the so-called Gimmick Girl.
The indignities and dangers of such work should never be saddled upon a woman of 25, much less a girl of 16 or less.
For those not yet familiar, a door to door personal ro-bot saleswoman is asked to walk the streets unsupervised, to visit the homes of unknown and possibly unsavory clients. With the menace of miasma shrouding London, this enough should be reason to ban the company's advertisements in this paper, but - if it can be believed - thre is still further cause for alarm.
These young women are asked to handle, daily and without safety gear, a variety of so-called mechanical companions. Have we not heard of the injuries these supposed household helpers can inflict? Do we not all know that there are, among us, both scientists and renegade boffins who would tamper with these clockwork monstrosities illegally; and if those madmen have no regard for the law, how much care might they have for a young woman's honor?
Yet there is even more cause to trouble yourself, readers. Just last month, there was a report of a grisly murder at the hands of a small fleet of mechanical companions. The vicious little things - elven though they may be - seem to have banded together on their own, without human intervention. Are our young ladies carrying the seeds of a mechanical insurrection with them through the streets of London? And when will one of them become the next victim?
God save the Queen,
Captain Hildebrandt Beam of Her Majesty's Angel Corps
Pollution Alert! Stay At Home or Wear A Mask
A thick layer of fog that has covered most of South East of England for the past three weeks has now spread to the rest of the country.
This morning, Edinburgh recorded its highest level of air pollutants, with pneumonia cases in Wales trebling. So far, 160 people have died and at least 500 have been admitted to hospital in the last 24 hours.
The Ministry of Health expects the number to rise as the thick fog continues to affect public health, and has issued the following warning:
- Only use coke or other smokeless fuel
- Do not bank up coal fires at night
- Don't burn rubbish or light bonfires
- Keep windows closed and draughts out
Sufferers of chest and heart complaints are being advised to "stay indoors and rest as much as
possible", while across the country airships have been grounded in an attempt to prevent accidents.
Rebreather Masks Recommended
The level of smoke pumped into the London atmosphere over the weekend, was four times higher than an average autumn day - with the level of sulphur dioxide ten times higher, according to figures produced by the Department for the Advancement of Sciences.
Plumes of smoke can be seen belching out of industrial chimneys daily. British Industry's dependence on coal produces up to 80% of the pollution, while domestic fires produce around 8 tons of smoke per cubic mile.
Huge swathes of British life have been brought to a standstill by the thick pea-souper fog, which has disrupted trains, buses and major roads.
The government advises people to wear a gas mask or a certified rebreather.
Scientists Investigated Occultist Pseudosciences and Time Travel: Photo Evidence
What is the real remit of the Department for the Advancement of Sciences?
New revelations leaked in documents sent to the London Gazette by a reader called "Caelen" suggest scientists have pursued occultist pseudosciences, including time travel, and carried out their experiments on human subjects.
Church of England leaders have now called on the government to 'come clean' on the clandestine activities of the discredited department.
Although unconfirmed, a series of blurry photographs show mathematical calculations and formulae that seem to explore various possibilities including travelling to parallel dimensions.
Time Travel Calculations?
While work at the department continues as normal, the whereabouts of scientists involved, and equipment used to create the Clockwork Project remains unknown, after several research laboratories were closed last month following a dispute with trade unions.
Caelen claims to have taken apart the Clockwork prototype he allegedly found abandoned in Liverpool, and says that finding the identity or location of an Advancement of Sciences employee called "BCV6" will unlock the mystery surrounding the activities of the beleaguered government department.
Advanced Clockwork Design?
He says the device shows that scientists have been trying to create a real humanoid, and that experiments carried out show real people were involved in the research.
No one at the department was available for comment, but this revelation will surely put pressure on the government to make public all Clockwork Project research documents.
If you can corroborate any of the allegations made by Caelen, or have information about Advancement of Sciences activities, kindly contact us through our electronic telegraph at: firstname.lastname@example.org.
The Aesthetics' Point of View
The Marquess Mallen and his family summoned me to clearify on my last statement. Thusly I will write several further statements from the perspective of The Aesthetics, each one punctiliously addressed to every dignitary respectively.
Respondence to The Most Honourable: The Marquess of Mallen
I answer duly to your summons for a depction of a decent collaboration between science and religion. According to my credo (diligentia quam suis rebus) I disclose in this affair Mr. Priestly.
Joseph Priestley, (13 March 1733 – 6 February 1804) was an 18th-century English theologian, clergyman, natural philosopher, chemist, educator, and political theorist who published over 150 works. He is usually credited with the discovery of oxygen, having isolated it in its gaseous state.
During his lifetime, Priestley's considerable scientific reputation rested on his invention of soda water, his writings on electricity, and his discovery of several "airs" (gases), the most famous being what Priestley dubbed "dephlogisticated air" (oxygen).
Priestley's science was integral to his theology, and he consistently tried to fuse Enlightenment rationalism with Christian theism. In his metaphysical texts, Priestley attempted to combine theism, materialism, and determinism, a project that has been called "audacious and original". He believed that a proper understanding of the natural world would promote human progress and eventually bring about the Christian Millennium.
A scholar and teacher throughout his life, Priestley also made significant contributions to pedagogy, including the publication of a seminal work on English grammar, books on history, and he prepared some of the most influential early timelines. These educational writings were some of Priestley's most popular works. It was his metaphysical works, however, that had the most lasting influence: leading philosophers including Jeremy Bentham, John Stuart Mill, and Herbert Spencer credit them among the primary sources for utilitarianism.
Long live Victoria!
Dr. Joseph Mortimer Granville